Archive for October, 2012

Halloween Bust

Of all the holidays, the one most rightfully stamped “For Children Only” falls on the last day of October.

Halloween is without a doubt the only remaining holiday, especially in small towns across America, that is still reserved for the very young.

Once upon a time, Christmas was a children’s holiday. In recent years, however, with adults horning in on the receiving end of the gift-giving idea, coupled with the annual Christmas parties “For Adults Only,” children have found themselves somewhat left out on many of the festivities.

As for New Year’s, children never got near the front door of this strictly adult holiday. And, Easter has now become a day for adults, especially parents, to show off their new finery and that of their children to the envy of their neighbors. Parading up and down the street in a stiff new outfit isn’t exactly a child’s idea of a fun holiday.

But, Halloween! Ah, that’s something altogether different.

Children realize this is the one holiday that belongs exclusively to them. Their parents and the rest of the world are mere spectators. They are

allowed to watch, but not participate.

Parents, however, are persistent pests, and much like cockroaches, you can’t get rid of them. So far most parents have limited themselves to adult costume parties and dances. This is bad enough. But the real encroachment upon this childhood holiday shows itself when Mother insists on selecting Junior’s Halloween costume. The scene usually plays out like this:

“Junior, sweetie, have you gotten into your darling Dolly Parton outfit yet?”

“Ah. Ma,” Junior says, looking into the mirror at the bulging front of his turtleneck sweater. “I look silly.”

“You’re supposed to look … different, dear. This is Halloween.”

Junior eyes himself in the mirror with disdain. He reaches under the sweater to make another adjustment. “Aaah, Ma, my chests keep movin’ all around.”

“Stop fussing. You look darling.”

“What a bummer. I’ll kill myself if someone recognizes me.”

“Hush! In that outfit nobody will recognize you. Now go and have fun.”

Junior lumbers out the door only to return twenty minutes later in tears. His ensemble is in disarray. “I toldja! I toldja!” he shouts at his mother.

“Poor baby. Tell Mother what happened. Did someone recognize you?”

“What do you think? And of all people it had to be that big mouth Betty. She’ll tell every kid in school!”

“But how did she know it was you, dear?”

“She was there! She saw the whole thing!”

“What whole thing, dear?”

“I was in front of her house, bending over to fix my high heel shoe, when Daddy came up behind me and pinched me in the behind and made one of my chests fall off. Then Daddy’s face got real red and he ran away.”


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